why is the truth SO hard!? All truths, every truth - my truth with my inner demons, my relationships, the self-delusions that I am as yet unaware of.
I’ve been trying ridiculously hard the past few years to be truthful. How strange it is to open up from the inside, to expose raw and tender feelings and vulnerabilities. It oddly not only exposes lies within, but the lies without. It’s like my perspective totally changed and this beacon of light shines relentlessly in all directions. I don’t like it sometimes. The light draws hard lines against the dark and makes the gray repulsive. Finding balance becomes a different kind of journey, to be restored in other areas, in compassion, in acceptance. I realize that every day, no matter how long the road, feels like the beginning all over again. My strength is not like a fortress, but more like delicate flower, to be nurtured every day. The growth is only strong because it is persistent, not because it is impenetrable.
This probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but myself…but thinking out loud is not my strong point (unless I’m talking to myself, which is a whole ‘nother story). here I bookmark my thoughts and ideas before they disappear into my mind and out of memory.
edit: I do not pretend to be some guru of truth. The whole bit about acceptance lays with myself - to know something is one thing, but some truths you cannot change - only accept.